Tokyo Gore Police

It Came from My Instant Queue: Tokyo Gore Police

I feel like it's unnecessary to say that Tokyo Gore Police is not a very good movie. This is a Japanese B horror movie. If you know anything about this splatter first, whatever else later genre, you know that "being a good movie" isn't just an unnecessary factor in creating these absurd gore fests, it's almost antithetical to the core ethos of why anyone would make these movies in the first place. You don't go into a movie like Tokyo Gore Police expecting a typical filmed entertainment. You go to a movie like Tokyo Gore Police because it's the type of splatterfest tailor made for the midnight movie crowd, or for watching with a particularly rowdy group of friends over a few beers and a pile of weed. You go into a movie like this expecting the blood-and-viscera equivalent of a Bukkake film. To do otherwise is to miss the point entirely.

As such, do not expect me to spend much time dissecting things like "plot" and "acting" when discussing today's Instant Queue entry, because I'd just be wasting yours and my time. If you do plan to sink the hour and 45 minutes needed to endure this psychotic grotesquerie of the J-horror genre, then go in with the understanding that you are there for long, laborious shots of severed limbs squirting impossible amounts of blood, stomach-churning mutations that are as hysterical as they are barf-worthy, and more than a few tasteful shots of star Eihi Shiina's miniskirted ass, and little else. With those expectations firmly accepted and in mind, you'll probably enjoy the hell out of this thing.

Ironically, I picked Tokyo Gore Police for this week's entry not because it's been sitting in my Instant Queue for the better part of three years (it has), but precisely because of its barely existent plot. It's a story of an insane scientist who does insane science. After witnessing his father's death, he rejiggers previous research he had been doing into the genes of serial murderers to try and create the ultimate psychopath: himself. The resulting crackpot science creates a kind of tumor that helps those infected (dubbed "engineers") with it regenerate injuries. Specifically, they regenerate into horrific, viscera-laden weapons. Cut off an arm, and a giant, flytrap looking mouth appears where it once was. Shoot out an eyeball, and suddenly a gun that shoots eyeballs pops in. Cut off an entire torso, and...well, just look at the screenshot directly to the right of this paragraph. Yeesh.

Zombie mayhem from Nishimura (Tokyo Gore Police, Machine Girl ...

TRAILER: HELLDRIVER (WELL GO USA)

An alien-spawned, mysterious mist blankets the northern half of Japan, transforming those who inhale it into ravenous, flesh-eating zombies hell-bent on devouring the surviving human population. Plunged into chaos, Japan is torn in two—€”the southern half of the country, where the populace remains untouched by the deadly gas, lives behind a heavily-fortified wall, while the northern half is a lawless, zombie-infected wasteland. Political forces are locked in a stalemate over whether the living dead should remain protected as family members or exterminated like a plague. The economy withers away, and all hope seems lost for the people and the nation of Japan.